Stay Wild My Child

I heard a song on the radio this morning that reminded me of the innocence and pure freedom of childhood. The song is called "Back to Free" by Drake White and will be available for purchase on iTunes this summer. In college I would listen to music constantly, but now that I am a busy mother I rarely have the time. Most of my music listening is done while I am working out, but that music acts more as a motivator than anything else.  On those rare occasions that I am able to listen to music (like this morning in the car), I pretty much only listen to country music. I know some people do not like country, but I love it. A lot of country is about drinking and hunting and trucks, but those real sweet tunes are often about life and faith and heart. I think we all could use a little more of that in our lives from time to time.  

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Jamesie's onesie was handmade by Moon River Apparel. They have unique, fun clothes to brighten up your little one's wardrobe. You may also notice Jamesie has a scrape on his left arm... battle wounds from the door jumper (sometimes he jumps a little too enthusiastically).

"Back to Free" paints a picture of the carefree nature of childhood, and how as adults we need to focus a little less on our iPhones and a little more on what's in front of us. I am admittedly on my phone way too much, and too dependent on my wifi.  That's something that I still need to work on, and Jamesie's here to help me.  Through him I see the pure innocence of childhood (babyhood?), the joy and adventure that every day brings, and the feeling of being carefree.  It is refreshing.

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Jamesie and I at a baby shower of a close family friend this past weekend in Hoboken, NJ. It was so nice to be surrounded by other mothers and mothers-to-be (and it gave me an excuse to put Jamesie in a bow tie!)

I grew up extremely independent. I wasn't afraid to try new things, and go new places. I can see now that this independence came from my childhood where I always felt a steady sense security from my parents.  That's the kind of parent that I want to be - the kind that gives her child independence and lets them (although guided) find their way.

Yet... I never knew quite how difficult that would be.  I'm always anxious about the well-being of my son, and I realize now this anxiety is only going to grow as he gets older.  I must, however, live with my fears and allow my son to be a kid.  I will watch with gritted teeth as he races around on his bike for the first time and I will silence the frustration I feel when he comes in the house covered in mud. I'd rather have him doing that than sitting in front of the TV all day, "safe and sound."

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Jamesie loves his door jumper. He loves dancing around on his feet and testing out his hopping abilities - he really is quite a good leaper! And of course it scares me.

As much as I want to keep my son safe, I do not want to smother him. I want to build a relationship with him based on trust and respect, and that requires me to allow him to explore, and in some ways let go. Thank goodness he's only 7 months! I've got some time still.

I imagine Jamesie, a few years from now, running around in nothing but his underwear and a red superhero cape, not a care in the world. That's what I'll hold on to.